Let’s play a game!
Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest to you. This is now your fanfic lube.
Nature’s Miracle “Just for Cats” stain and odor remover.
Celibacy is looking like a good option here.
Gin and tonic. SEXY
100% pure acetone. I think I lose this game forever.
Cold tea. Um.
and I are in a pie shop and ours is fancy hot sauce. Um….
Arnold Palmer tea or a tiny bit of baby formula. So um…let’s go with Arnold Palmer being my lube? Ew.
….do I win or lose this game for having a number of ‘not ideal, but completely workable’ things within arm’s reach of my desk, like olive oil infused with comfrey root and herbal salve that has a beeswax and olive oil base?
I mean I’ve also got things like cough medicine and orange flower water within eyesight so…
I don’t know if you win or lose, but the filling of these pirozhki is going up someone’s ass.